I am finding it extremely hard to step out of my car. From the moment I drive onto Isaac John Street, my heart rate has gradually increased. Now that I have parked my car in the garage of our reunion venue, Radisson Blu Hotel. My heart is drumming a furious and intense beat.
I am here.
I haven't seen any of my secondary school classmates ever since our graduation in the year 2010. It wasn't intentional, but I did not want to remember my last year with them, with her more specifically.
I started another book when I finished that chapter in my life.
What am I doing here? The leading question of the day. Not seeing any of my old classmates, does not mean I do not still talk to some here and there. They are the reason I am here.
Social media has made it so that people can always stay in touch or stumble across one and another on the internet. So I have made sure all my accounts are not open to the general public. That is how far I have gone to keep her out of my life. It does not mean she took the same necessary caution to keep me out of hers. I am ashamed to admit this, but eight years have gone by, yet I still frequently cyber stalk her online. She does not hide anything and shares her life with the world.
I keep my words. I said I would be here and here I am. I take in a huge breath and slowly release it to try and calm myself, I grab my duffle bag from the passenger seat and finally step out of my car, almost thirty minutes after I parked it.
I notice the zipper on my duffel bag has unzipped itself in time. If not I would have emptied the contents on the floor and drawn unnecessary attention to myself.
I check-in at the reception, praying not to be seen by any of my previous classmates, as I run to take cover in my room.
I drop my duffel bag on a table, take off my shoes, turn on the tv, grab the remote control, and settle myself on the very soft bed with the whitest sheets.
A hockey game is on. Hockey intrigues me, because of all the romance hockey athlete books I love reading. My favourite being the Off-Campus series written by Elle Kennedy.
I admire her writing immensely, she is an author and publisher, who inspires me to continue on my publishing path.
I pop a pill of Ativan—my anxiety medication and I feel myself gradually calming down. I set my alarm to wake me up an hour to the reunion as I let sleep render me unconscious.